Monday’s Child and a River Dog
The Toddler is adorable. I’m not just being biased. Other people will stop us wherever we are and tell her or The Man or me how pretty/beautiful she is. Sometimes we’re stopped by other mothers who praise her in front of her own children. The Toddler is just that cute.
Looking. She’s cute looking.
Monday’s child apparently has a stubborn streak a mile wide and the voice of an injured banshee (yes, not a regular banshee, a WOUNDED banshee) capable of raising the dead or causing surrounding avian life to drop to the ground. Monday’s child was also blessed with the certainty that she is always right, always persecuted and deserves to be heard. (Monday’s child is a pain in the –.)
She has her moments, of course. Moments where she’s simply innocent and precious. Moments where I’m so proud of her, so amazed by her that tears come to my eyes. These are methodically interspersed with those banshee moments that are also capable of bringing tears to my eyes.
Last week we got a puppy and The Man immediately named her “River.” The Toddler kept saying ‘Oh! She’s so cute!’ and they hugged one another most of the way home in the truck. The first few days she would call River with an endearing “Here, boy.” We told her River is a girl. The Toddler patted the River’s head and said, “Good girl, boy!”
Apparently she’s seen too many boy and dog movies where they say “Here, boy” when they want the dog.
So then I went back to “Is Mommy a boy or a girl?”
“Is Daddy a boy or a girl?”
“No, Daddy is a boy.”
“Daddy a boy.”
“Right. Is Abby a boy or a girl?”
“And River is a girl.”
(pats puppy’s head) “River is girl. Good girl, boy!”
The lovey huggy moments are in between other moments where the banshee is wailing “River took my flower!” “River took my toy!” “River ate my baby!”
And, River is a baby so she’s chewing on everything and everyone. Especially The Toddler because she doesn’t understand what’s going on or what to do about it. The Man told her to tell River to stop and then ask her to be nice. (This works, actually. Who knew.)
But then when River started playing and nipping at The Toddler’s heels The Toddler would run at me crying “She’s not askin’ me! She’s not askin’ me!”
We’re working on that.
Right now all I can do is try to balance the insanity of River’s puppy moments and The Toddler’s uh…Banshee moments and hope they don’t happen at the same time. Today they’re happening at the same time and when The Man called home at lunchtime I told him if I’m not here when he gets home I’ve run away. (He said okay. Pfft.)
One week down and River is learning to do her business outside. The past day or two she’s done remarkably well. I, however, am not getting too excited because The Toddler has done remarkably well in the past and she is currently peeing in Pull-Ups quite happily. On the other hand, River may be housebroken before The Toddler. Either way? I’m glad we bought that carpet shampooer.
But please send chocolate. At the moment I’m not sure my sanity will outlast the Toddlerhood and the Puppyhood.
Tags: biting, Elisa Ashley, housebreaking, kids, mommy needs a vodka, playing, potty training, puppies, taming toddlers