Prudery is a Plague!

 

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In the third month of my ninth grade year, I shocked my CCD Teacher and classmates by disputing two ideas. First the contention that French Kissing was a mortal sin and cause for eternal damnation. Second that girls who dressed in a revealing manner were sinners others should shun. The classroom dispute promptly expanded to a confrontation with the parish pastor. At this point, I declared my disbelief in the deity and the rejected the entire sex is dirty and shameful dogma.  Subsequently I had to repeat this dispute with some of my teachers, guidance counselors, and even a few classmates. The best experience I had in this episode was my mother telling the pastor: “He does not lie.” in response to his questioning look upon my declaration of atheism. Little did I know then that I had begun a 55-year struggle with slut-shaming and the partisans of sexual repression. All this was brought to mind when a long-time Facebook friend, took offense to one of my posts [without bothering to read or understand it] and called me “a porn fuck” before unfriending me. Thanks to her, I resumed the struggle and produced the article that follows.


As the Myth of the Other Girls explains: the rules, so many females are bombarded with about how to dress, act and develop sexually are arbitrary social constructs. These rules have no substantiated validity and no genuine applicability.  Misogyny, slut-shaming, modesty, purity and “the beauty standard” are traps. The divide and conquer practice that sets good girls against bad girls, females against males, and the plain against the pretty are traps and snares for the unwary.

The stated culprit in the image is Patriarchy. In general this is accurate, but the vector that infests our culture with these false distinctions and detrimental divisions is a sub-theme: Prudery.

Prudery, more politely, called the “modesty or purity” is a constellation of beliefs. First, women need to cover their bodies. Second, the display of physical attractiveness diminishes the attractive person. Third, recognizing and appreciating physical attributes is dangerous and disrespectful. Fourth, sensual desire is degrading and acting on it is dishonorable. Fifth, any confidence or conduct relying on physical appearance is demeaning and deserving of ridicule.

Prudery focuses on control and clothing is just a tool for imposing dominion. The hyper-vigilance of fundamentalists, female and male, Christian and Muslim, regarding modesty or purity cloaks a hatred for women and their sexuality. It invalidly asserts with no supporting evidence that curves and so-called erogenous body parts should require concealment except in socially sanctioned situations. Prudery renders substantial service to patriarchy and a significant disservice to human beings. As the image correctly informs us dismantling and rectifying the controlling culture requires more than the isolated efforts of individuals antagonized by perceived distinctions. Revolutions and transformations require determined by people united by active affinities.

Prudery, taken to extremes, demands females from puberty onward conceal themselves from head to toe and allow only their eyes to be discerned by onlookers.

I explicitly and emphatically support the right of every adult female to reveal or conceal her body or parts of her body as she genuinely chooses free from compulsion by law, regulation, or oppressive custom. While I have my preferences, those are of interest mainly to me. They are in no way binding on any female.

Furthermore, I reject any variation of the proposition that sexual desire aka lust is shameful or despicable in any way. Sexual desire is as wholesome and natural as hunger and thirst. Hunger and thirst do not justify stealing food and drink, but sexual desire never justifies forcibly slaking one’s lust. Arousal is fine and normal, but forcing oneself on another is wrong and deplorable. Arousal does not justify aggression!

The words of Saige Hatch, a 15-year-old who launched the “South Pasadena High School Modesty Club” illustrate the detrimental impact of the prudery/modesty canard. Saige followed in the footsteps of many by lamenting blames popular culture and peer pressure for sexualizing women and girls. Her lament is simply the old whine in new bottles. The lack of critical thinking skills and the power of propaganda managed to get a 15-year-old California girl to fall for this ancient falsehood.

Females and males are sexual as a matter of biological fact. They are not disembodied minds or spirits; humans are physical beings and no superstitions about souls must be allowed to cloud our understanding of that reality.

Saige, however, bought the prudery/modesty canard lock, stock, and barrel and wrapped the lie in some pseudo-feminist rhetoric.

“Women have fought for their rights, liberty, and honor more in the past 200 years than in all recorded history,” reads a statement on the club’s website, www.modestyclub.com. “Our bright, heroic women are being made the fool. A fool to think that to be loved they must be naked. To be noticed, they must be sexualized. To be admired they must be objectified.”

F or centuries females and males have fought to ensure recognition and respect for their equal humanity. At least since Classic Greece, however, the naked human form has been recognized as beautiful and not shameful. The human form deserves exultation, not derogation. The shame-purveying, guilt-inducing cults of Christianity and Islam have used the lie of sex as sin and sensuality as shameful to gain an ideological advantage over their opponents. They appropriated the moral high road with their prudishness by capitalizing on the envy the masses felt toward the uninhibited elites in Hellenistic times. People ensared by these ideologies feel morally superior because they did not, at least openly, engage in sex or exhibit their bodies. Morality was thus a matter of repressive behavior, and it became fixated the flesh and sensual pleasures rather than broader issues such as avarice, anger, and aggression.

Female bodies are the sole property of the females under consideration. They and they alone are the judges of what and how much they will reveal or conceal. That does not mean females have to be flaunting their attributes at every opportunity; it does not stipulate they have to wander through the world draped in opaque fabric from their heads to their toes either. It means they can do what they wish, and the rest of us must respect their decision.

As far as males are concerned, they too are free human beings. They have every right to feel as they do about female attire. They can enjoy the sight of female bodies; they can turn away because they tremble at the thought of temptation. What males think and feel is their business and theirs alone. Males, however, have no right to impose their choices on females.

Laws, regulations, and enforced customs that ban public nudity are aggressions against every member of that society. Since 10 December 1948, it has been public knowledge that:  “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.” People strive to ignore and deny this knowledge, but it has existed for nearly seven decades.

Regardless of any centuries-old notions of propriety, since 10 December 1948, no one has had any valid pretext for thinking that any human being could justly dictate the clothing choices or emotional responses of any other. Every human being is equally free, equally dignified and enjoys equal rights. Every human being has reason and conscience; every human being has the responsibility to act toward every other with a spirit camaraderie. Camaraderie, of course, precludes scolding, shaming, blaming or any other censorious action.

Now, having the right to control what and how much they reveal or conceal does not mean females need to go brazenly where no beauty has gone before and stride naked down the cathedral’s main aisle. No woman need display her curves and clefts church, or flash their flesh in the supermarket.  This right just means that females get to do whatever they genuinely want to do in terms of how much or how little cloth they put on themselves.

Prudery and its genteel twin modesty are patriarchal, proprietary and patriarchal, presumptuous and phony.  Whether its proponents are traditional hucksters of Abrahamic insanity or innocent dupes like the Ms. Hatch and her modesty club cohorts, the creed their peddling is not fit for human consumption. It is time for all people of goodwill to kick the credulous habit and abandon the comfort of conformity.

Every male and female who meets the challenge of being human in a world not haunted by gods and demons must step forth and assert the truth that flesh is not vile, and females are not subordinate. Every woman has every right to swathe herself in fabric to the point of total concealment or to share her glory with one and all as climate and circumstances permit.

Neither females nor males must meekly accept the venomous lie that sex is shameful, desire is sinful, and sensual pleasure is evil. We are physical creatures, and while sexual interactions can produce children who deserve care, procreation does not prescribe the only proper object of sexual interaction. Recreational sex is just as proper as reproductive sex, and it is far more repeatable in the short term.

The ideology of prudery hides behind deceptively benign notions such as modesty and purity. People, especially female people, are likely to be deluged with this nonsense from a young age. For example, Elizabeth Smart stated she “felt so dirty and so filthy” after her captor raped her, that she understood why someone wouldn’t run “because of that alone.”  How appalling is this consequence prudish indoctrination?  Elizabeth was neither dirty nor filthy; she was abused. Every female subjected to the same brainwashing that almost made Elizabeth complicit in her maltreatment has is also abused.

Awaken my sisters and brothers! Denounce this evil propaganda and grant all women the right to live as they choose. Do not be any part of the vicious lies and debilitating tales that make females susceptible to self-loathing based on noxious concepts such as modesty and purity.

According to Stendhal, “Prudery is a kind of avarice the worst of all.” Like greed, prudery is a root of evil that wants not merely our money, but our very persons. When males give aid or comfort to such ignoble ideas, it is bad enough. When females join in and try to paint nudity as some failing and sexual allure as some fault, they betray and facilitate the oppression of their sisters and themselves. Remember Elizabeth Smart, who was so harmed by the modesty myth that she was compliant toward her abductors and abusers.

The world is full of beautiful women and handsome men. For me, the men are of little interest, but the women are inspirations for joy. I will never to the point of dying either refuse to admire beautiful women or remain silent when anyone scolds them for sharing their beauty with a world sorely in need of grace and glamor.

One toxic dump that infects contemporary cultures with the prudery Plague is the story of Genesis. Initially, Adam and Eve are naked but unashamed. They apparently lived in a benign climate and had no need for protection from the elements. After their purported Fall, they saw their nakedness and found “fig leaves” to cover their erogenous areas.  Why does the sin of disobedience in the form of eating from the Tree of Knowledge induce shame at being naked?  There is demonstrably no logical connection between the two events. Eve and Adam were naked because an almighty deity created them that way as the fable goes. If this deity also created them without the ability to tell good from evil, how could they have evaluated their conduct? Furthermore, how can an all-powerful, all-knowing, constantly benevolent deity set a trap for his creations and give them no way to recognize the danger? Thus, these mythical people had no culpability for their state of undress. Because they are not in any way to blame, why would they feel any shame?  Even worse, why would every human being that ever has lived or ever will live carry the same guilt placed on these two.

Eve and Adam had no reason to feel shame, and they were guilty of nothing. All the rest of humanity likewise inherits not guilt and thus no shame from these mythical captives of a devious deity. The sole point of this fable is to set the stage for the spreading shame and guilt among people who are demonstrably innocent. Why would the author of the fable want to provide this launch pad for the shame and blame game?

First, the author was a male. He wrote in the service of patriarchal authority. Authority always wants submissiveness in the people it claims to rule. Males usually want submissiveness and receptivity from the females in their sphere. By sowing the seeds of shame and providing a pretext for blame, the author made people susceptible to manipulation and made females vulnerable to subjugation.

No fair-minded person can credibly deny that through much of human history and presumably much of prehistory males have dominated and subordinated females. Most cultures are patriarchal. It seems as though males have an implicit understanding where the most prominent and powerful are supported by the others as long as these others share in the control and constraint of females.

For the thoughtless, having somebody from whom to demand obedience and sexual service may seem like a good deal. For centuries in what has been called Christendom, women were seen a virtual property that was subject to control by their fathers, brothers, or husbands through the duty of obedience. Wives had a duty to service their husbands sexually, and rape was impossible in the context of marriage. Women were supposed to be modest and chaste. Young females face designation as good girls or bad girls. On the basis of these arbitrary labels, some females are bribed with social approval and status to support the defamation of other females. The labels rationalize relegating the others to the role of sexual sacrifices on the altar of male lust.

Muslim males are explicitly said to have the right to own slave women, seized during military campaigns and jihad against non-believing pagans and infidels from Southern Europe to Africa to India to Central Asia. They could also marry and have sex with more than one Muslim woman, as well as have sex with non-Muslim slave girls who are unmarried or married to non-Muslim men. Muslim males could have concubines. Thus, the two largest Abrahamic religions subordinated women to men and explicitly or implicitly condoned males’ sexual enjoyment of women while expecting females to keep themselves chaste for their eventual husbands.

Through many feats of mental gymnastics believers strive to minimize or obscure the exploitive practices, their faiths either preach or condone in practice. These same people accept such ideas that males have needs, boys will be boys, and women induce and provoke lust in men through immodest dress and ask for sexual attacks. These beliefs are as bogus; as they are irrelevant. Females and males are equally human and possess equal rights. Sectarian creeds to the contrary are both wrong and pernicious. Such creeds deserve not one iota of support.

So let us all rise and recognize the twenty-first century. Peoples’ bodies are theirs and no one else’s. Our bodies are not shameful; beauty is not bad; desire is not damning, and sexual action and sensual pleasure are not evil.

Clothes make neither the man nor the woman. A woman covered from head to toe is good or bad based on her general and actual behavior. In the same way, a woman resplendent in all her naked glory is good or bad based on her actions, not her attire. No woman’s character depends on the cut and quantity of the cloth on her body. The same considerations apply to males, but they are neither regularly shamed nor blamed based on the quantity of cloth they. Females far too often are.

Shaming and blaming must be confined to the greedy and the cruel. No person and most emphatically no female must be scolded or punished for her choices in attire or her sexual adventures. The struggle against shaming and blaming females has personal with me from the age of fourteen. I defied my CCD teacher, my pastor, some of my teachers and guidance counselors and a few of my fellow students. This essay continues that battle.

Humans are physical beings and attending to and admiring that physicality does not turn people into objects.  Women have the right to display their bodies when, where, and as they wish. Men have the right to notice and admire the women’s bodies. Again, these propositions apply in the reverse with full and equal force.

The proponents of prudery are devious, thus, let me be explicit.  A woman’s right to display any and all of her body as she freely chooses will not trigger a horde of naked damsels dancing suggestively at the upcoming church social. Nor does it mean offices and airliners will abound with nude women flaunting their charms while doing their work. Neither straight nor lesbian sex acts will clog the supermarket aisles. Whatever the parade of horribles, propagandists for prudery may conjure, nothing of the sort will transpire.

Women are human beings; deal with this truth!  Therefore, women will conduct themselves with the same reasonableness as all human beings do at least the preponderance of the time. Women will not choose en masse to flout the expectations of their communities. Females carry sexual IEDs within their wombs nor sensual death rays between their breasts. Females do not eagerly await the chance to drive others mad in service of their nihilistic, schemes and sociopathic personalities. All accusations and defamations made toward women – as women – are not worth the breath it takes to express them. Liberating females from prudish restrictions on their attire and sexuality will not destroy any civilization worthy of the name.

Therefore keep calm and keep on my wayward sons and daughters. We have peace when we are one. Let us try some more!

The time has come for all people of goodwill to put aside the habits and hang-ups of prudery and the attendant snares of modesty and purity. We have nothing to lose but our pains. The truth that humans had not fallen even before they existed, but rise or fall by their choices and their actions will set all of us free. Let us all reject faith and embrace truth. Let us all allow each of us to conceal or reveal our bodies as each decides. Let us all allow each of us to gain the attention of our sisters and brothers as they allot it. Let the caliber of our conduct rather than the cut and quantity cloth we sex we enjoy define the content of our character. Let all of us give to each of us the gift of love and solidarity. Let freedom from shame, guilt, and a cessation of censure and blame liberate all to dress as we choose and take our pleasure where we find willing partners.

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  • Larry Conley

    Comments are of course welcome. It is my conviction that Elizabeth Smart is merely the most generally known female to fall prey to this vicious ideology that has no sound basis in philosophy or practicality.

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  • jennifer kiley

    I first want to make a statement: ” Free women from constraints all societies & cultures impose on females. Set women free! ” It is a matter of releasing all expectations meant for women. Clear the slate. Go back to a state of Tabula Rasa.

    Your piece Larry is well written and the material gives plenty of points to absorb. It does anger the female in me, as well as the human, too. I feel all creatures, human & animals, should be free to pursue their own paths without pre-prescribed notions of the rules set before you & the ones we must obey. Societies rules should not be forced on anyone. If someone wants to live in a chosen manner, they should be free to follow their inclinations.

    Now in this piece, Larry is talking more specifically about the shaming of mostly women. It does carry over to men as well. The expectations of both sexes depends on what beliefs they have been brainwashed into believing. When I grew up, the unspoken rules were strictly enforced and those who didn’t follow or understand were shamed & ostracized. Sex was a huge deal. Men/boys could do what ever they wanted. It was encouraged. Now if these boys happened to be straight & they were having some kind of sexual contact, who do you suppose it is with? A girl. Well, if that girl should happen to be used sexually by that boy, he was praised for his virility & she was condemned & seen as a tramp or slut, if you will. Her reputation would be in question and most often ruined with the label of a “dirty” and “easy” girl.

    Well, that isn’t the case. When girls get drawn into this scenario of letting a boy touch them, it is usually out of wanting attention, or she feel she must out of the desired expectation of the boy, or maybe she enjoyed the physical contact. Or just maybe, she wanted to have sex. The desire to have sex was so forbidden.A woman desiring sex, just for sex sake. How bold of her.

    All rules over women needs to cease. Those against abortion should be truly honest on why they object to it. Reason: A huge way to control women. They don’t really give a damn about the abortion. It is all about control & taking it away from the woman. Her body isn’t allowed to belong to her, if any of the fundamentalist religions and cultures have their way. And they have for years.

    To feel shame about your body, no matter what you are doing with it. Covering it should be the woman’s choice. Wearing shorts & a T-shirt with sandals, then walking in the out doors where all can see, should not be a problem. Who decides to make it a problem is way off base & should delve into deep thought to see the error of their ways.

    Bodies start out naked. I, for one, love to walk around my house barely clothed or naked. If it is hot out, the naked part seems to make the most sense. Or I chose to wear as little as possible. At other times when it is cold, my body is covered with long stretch pants, a T-shirt, a hoodie, a warm vest, and long hospital booties. The purpose is to feel all snugly inside. It would otherwise be crazy for me to go around naked in the winter cold of the North-east of the US.

    I laugh when I think of the Prudish behavior when some people get all excited and disturbed at the sight of nakedness in a beautiful piece of art. “Cover them up!” those who are appalled shout. Have these same people never looked under their own cloths and realized they bear a similar design in their own bodies. What is the problem. I never understood some peoples Prudery around the naked human body, whether woman or man. Seeing breasts on the female or the penis on a male is not shocking, it is just showing the human body in its natural form. What is the huge deal on this insanity of freaking out at the sight of human flesh in its entirety.

    Whether a woman or a man, nakedness can be extremely beautiful. It is a matter of propriety not ownership & the demands that the males of the world feel ownership of women. Women are not the males receptacle for their sexual satisfaction, unless the woman/women so chose any person in which to share intimacies.

    It is sickening to know the Patriarchy is alive and well all over the world & they don’t give a damn what women feel. They don’t have any desire to cast aside the rules. They want a women when they want her. If rape is necessary, they take her. The spoils of war. Sexual slaves are most often young girls stolen off the streets all over the world. It is an epidemic in huge proportions. Once again the female has become chattel for the use of the male in most instances. How awful to have to perform acts with a man against your will. It is deplorable & a destroyer of the soul.

    Why can’t women be truly free. Free from the fear of being raped if they happen to take a walk at night, or meet someone at a party or bar and find them attractive. Why shouldn’t she have a sexual liaison if she so desires without the fear she will be drugged then raped and maybe if it goes beyond, actually be killed b/c the man turns out to be a pervert &/or a serial killer.

    The world is a dangerous place for women & not very friendly to her. She has to fight to gain a foot forward. Covering one’s self or being free with one’s clothing, should be no consideration for a man or society to judge. Honor killings are barbaric. Reasons once again are due to the rules that men own women, whether father, brother, husband or a trophy from the spoils of war.

    The double standard is the worst creation since it began. Once there were Matriarchies. It was told they were idyllic, agrarian societies. Women were the rulers & the peacemakers. The men would work the fields, but then men became hunters & would go off to bring back food filled with protein for all to share. Something drastically happened and the Hunters revolted & overthrew the Matriarchy & the Pagan belief system. Peace & the Rule of Women seized to exist. Since then Men have punished women for ever being so bold as to think they could have the Power to Rule or to share the power with the males of the human species.

    Prudery somewhere along the line of history grew due mostly to men’s rules & then Organized Religion entered the scene. It seems the rule makes wanted to suppress most of what made us Humans. Feelings, thinking, original thought, women showing any signs of being educated. All went to Hell & we have been fighting this struggle for centuries to regain a balance between the power of men & women. The men don’t want to give it up. In fact, they continually try to be more restrictive of the power women have over their bodies or any other part of their lives.

    Women are cast out of their profession in the acting/film making community b/c they are suddenly not young. They have matured & are better in their profession, but only a few of the lucky ones slip through. It’s impossible for a women to be offered directing positions to make grand films. The boys club shuts them out & refers to a man to do the job. In Hollywood, some of the worse Male dominance is alive & well, more than in most other professions.

    Prudery is a word that would not be missed if it were eliminated from the languages of the world. Let Women & Men be alive. Act on their joyful instincts of sharing love, sexuality, whether attracted to men or women from both sides, just allowing for the freedom to express who each of us is individually. Stop being & feeling ashamed of the beautiful bodies we have been given at birth. Shame is such a destructive state. Feeling guilt for who we are & what we want to be & what we want to express. Our bodies deserve to honored but not owned by anyone except by the person living inside of it.

    Women are the most trampled in this world. Blamed for all the wrongs of leading men astray. It is natural to want to be free to express our needs and desires. Restraints should only be called for if their is harm in what we are doing. There is not harm for either sex when it comes to sexuality, nakedness, artistic expression of the human body, love being expressed in the media of films, books, theatre, on television. The world needs to allow people to be themselves.

    The only time to stop anything is when it harms anyone else. Women being free to choose their own lives is not something that would harm anyone. And lastly, we all as individuals should not be judges as to what is the best behavior for anyone else, especially when it comes to a woman wanting to be who she is & not what societies & cultures want her to be. jk 2015

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    • Richard Dey

      Are you suggesting that we lived in a patriarchy with a 50% divorce rate? with alimony? with obligatory risk to males in the military? with requirements on males to provision “their” families? where women nested their way with no boots on the coffee table? where men had to leave their oiwn houise to smoke and have a beer? What planet were you living on? North America has been a gynocracy since Godey’s Ladies Book. Read Ann Douglas: The Feminization of America.We need is another war that will scare women into reality. In WW2, women got up on the trains and gave men their seats.

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      • jennifer kiley

        i will give you a simple response you may or may not understand. Tell me, where in the Constitution are Women mentioned. We couldn’t even get an Equal Rights Amendment passed. Tells you a lot about the mentality of men and those women they control with threats of brutality if they dare to leave them or murder. And yes you need to smoke outside as far away as possible. Who wants to smell that crap or the danger of second hand smoke.. As for the beer, that’s wacky. Women are a threat to men b/c we have the capability of channeling an inner power between ourselves. Men forgot how to do that. With some exception, the men who helped women to finally get the vote. We still are not on equal ground with men. Until that happens, rethink your misogyny. Reread your history. You won’t find many women represented. So don’t whine when I tell you We Live in a Patriarchy. Don’t Get Use To It. When the Congress until recently was 100% male and is even now more that 80% male, you can’t say that a country is being governed by women. Man have made the laws and continue to do so and may I say quite badly. -jk

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        • Richard Dey

          Jennifer: read what I said. We do not live in a patriarchy; indeed patriarchy is a feminist meme which has no basis in reality. If you are complaining about female-dominated men, then perhaps you’re referring to the men in Congress; but the only men I know who igniore what women tell them to do (to do in Congress too) are gay men who have no interest in women. What congressman, btw, ever voted for anything his mother, his wife, his daughter, or a majority of his female constiuency didn’t approve of? Those are the men you’re complaining about. Women voted for the men in Congress, 52.5% of women. Women, Catholic and Protestant, put Adolf Hitler into power. If you want to own the world, you have to own your role in it. I worked for women all my life; I don’t mind living under women — but I will not live under women who think the world is all about women and and their children and nobody else. I’ll pick up my musket again and fight. BTW, whilst you’re fixing society, get rid of our female domination of lower schools. It’s a swill of feminist propaganda which does not fit history. Men (admitted, gay men out of all proportion to their expectable number) invented civilization; women have simply spent it — 85% of it every years on themselves; women shop; men buy. We need a better-educated buying public, not a shopping public. Joine Allile. After she installs all those water-heaters (they don’t last long), she’s going to join the Marines. You go risk your life for feminism. I already did.

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        • Richard Dey

          Mz Kiley. There you bring up a brilliant repost! When it comes to women, the Bible is far superior. The Bible allows female slaves their masters can sell at a discount. Indeed, the Bible authorizes rape!

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  • Anya

    I especially appreciated that you wrote so much, so in depth, without resorting to shaming people who inadvertently or intentionally participate in patriarchal customs. And that you expressed something most people don’t.

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  • David Demoise

    Larry, excellant article commentary. I feel the same way about females doing their own thing. I certainly wouldn’t want to be told by parents, friends and groups in society what is right for me and so forth. Your points about religion are so true where this subject is concerned. This shame factor has affected most if not all of us on earth about our own bodies and the lust of others. Like you said; lust is not aggression. To continue with my religious tangent; it is so dangerous what religion states and if we allow ourselves to be influenced by it, especially from when we are young. That is why one big reason for your article being the breathe of fresh air that it is because you had enough fore thought when you were very young to recognize and feel this instinct. Shameful rearing causes insecurity. Insecurity is an underlying reason as to why some males what to control females. Any male who is worth his salt understands that natural attraction is created and can be fostered by NOT being insecure, but by being comfortable in ones own skin. Insecurity also goes hand in hand with negativity. A male who is truly strong, knows that he does not need to be overbearing with females. He does not need to control them. He only needs to worry about himself and show leadership in his own life, and ask women to join him reproductively or recreationally as you put it. Whether they do or not, he is still smiling because he understands these things. A weak guy, does not understand this and will fight against nature and therefore show his insecure behavior. Anyway, your article was excellent. I’m glad I finally got off my ass to read it. I look forward to more, so I’ll be stalking your FB profile! LOL!

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    • Richard Dey

      Sounds lilke a sexless Ken Doll reading a 4-year-old girl’s script. “Now you be the daddy, so you go out and make mommy lots of money and I’ll make tea.” YUCH! Rebellion and misogyny begin at 4. Oh right! Playing house is all about avoiding patriarchy. It’s confusing. PS: Ken’s gay, and living with 5 guys in a logging camp in Big Bear, Idaho. Once in a while he checks the NYSE. So cross him off your list. he ain’t interested; you forgot to clean his boots.

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      • Larry Conley

        I have to hand it to you R D! Rarely have I seen a finer display of false masculinity, functional illiteracy, and homophobia in 88 words. The person you are besmirching is a far, far better man than you will ever hope to be if your respective comments are any measure of worth. If you believe misogyny is some sort of scam or ruse, then I apologize for picking on you as you are obviously either brain damaged or have been in a coma for the greater part of your life. In case any of these words are beyond you, here is a link to help out: http://dictionary.reference.com/

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        • Richard Dey

          Mr. Conley. The Encyclopedia of Homosexuality (1990). I was a colleague of Warren Johansson, author of The Origins of Homophobia. I know exactly where it came from, to the date and, actually, the locis. I edited it, and I approved its final publication (1989). My addendum to it, not approved by Johansson [1934-1994] deceased) is entitled Why Jehovah was a Woman (1995) (admittedly, something of a dig at Halperin’s Why Diotima was a Woman). You can prepare for WJW with Graves and Patai: The Hebrew Goddess. I used the 1st ed, not the present 3rd. N.B.: I have no “belief”, as you falsely surmised; believe still means, I suspect, to accept without fact. Myth, imho, is to be interpreted; fact is to be accepted. I’m Athens (homophilia), not Jerusalem (homophobia). If you have any questions on gayness, I’d be happy to set you straight. Your first lesson is to comprehend that the gay-feminist coalition is a political venture, not a sexual adventure. Declaring war on religion, >100 nations, 47 states, Congress, the Supreme Court, the Marines, and winning has been, I suspect, an exhausting experience; but it has not blinded them to the fons et origo of homophobia — which, I suspect, you have confused with the political coalition noted per supra. On that note, might I suggest Prof Ann Douglas: The Feminization of America (1977); I suspect you’ll find it revelatory. Videque the phrase “… women and their army, the clergy …). Shudder!

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        • Richard Dey

          And you, Mr Conley, do not need to defend falsehoods by bearing false witness.

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  • Richard Dey

    In women’s hands, prudery is a shameless sex tool’; compare a woman’s prudery to a man’s boner. Freud was half right. It wasn’t penis envy; it’s boner envy.

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  • Richard Dey

    When I said we don’t live in a patriarchy, I proved it. A >50% divorce rate is not “father rule”. We not only live a matriarchy, we live in a self-centered, man-hating mommy-state that seeks to control civilization by forbidding fathers to bring up their sons. Your complaints date from the sons women brought up. You say you’re oppressed because men “rule” the US. Then how do you happen to have 51% of the personal wealth ($14 TRILLION buckeroos). I’m whining? You’re whining. What do you want? $15 trillion? How about 30? Under women, the total will shrivel. Women have also become a majority of executives in our corporate world, yet charitable women, in control since shortly after the Vietnam War, can’t get the homeless ,em off the street women threw out of their own homes! Frankly, lady, I’m not impressed with your management of my money or your made-up ideas of how to salvage the States. PS: You (and Godey’s Ladies Book from our ladylike Victorian past) may not like tobacco, but it is all natural, and you can’t be allergic to carbon without being dead. I, on the other hand, am allergic to the $171 BILLION you women spend on makeup — not only financially, but because I have to get catheterized if I sniff a whiff of it. So YOU go out in the ice and snow — and sit in a snow drift, and stay 25 feet from me at all times because your idea of history (a gay may male creation by Herodotus and Thucydides) is as divorced from reality as your idea of misogyny; you haven’t tasted the blood of it yet. Put your anger to work, girl. Join the marines. Now there’s an idea! One of the things America lacks is women willing to die for their country!

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