The Law of Attraction
Vibrating on a certain frequency or simply a nut magnet?
There is a theory out there, another one of those generated by the self-help crowd in order to yet again to try to discover “the answer” to all the mysteries in life. It’s called “The Law of Attraction.” In a nutshell, the idea is that if you send out “positive thoughts” and/or “positive vibes”, the universe will react in kind and you will “attract” all the good things in life you desire. In other words, wish it so, it will be so. This theory has evolved somewhat into something called “The Vortex”, which to me is nothing more than some quantum mechanics, string theory, M-theory, etc all bundled together with some Eastern philosophical thought and made into a quasi-religious practice. Just like any other theory or idea, there’s always some validity to it, but people have a tendency to take things just a little too far, often times, in order to enrich themselves with it, preying on people who are sensitive to the harsher things in life, and especially those who are constantly on some sort of spiritual journey, seeking enlightenment of some kind and trying desperately to find their place in the infinite mystery that is our existence. Obviously, from the tone of this, you can easily tell that for the most part, I don’t believe in any of it. Yes, keeping a positive attitude rather than a negative one is certainly more beneficial for you in life but to me, being positive about things dictates that you are prone to be more proactive and therefore more likely to obtain what you want out of life. Negative and defeatist attitudes dictate that one will simply give up and never try, therefore, not obtaining what they want out of life. No mystery there. No hocus pocus. No abracadabra. Also, obviously, no guarantees. My argument about “The Law of Attraction” always goes back to the Holocaust. I’m certain that those six million Jews that were exterminated didn’t “call it” to themselves by having negative thoughts in life and I’m also certain that Hitler wasn’t simply “more positive” about his goals. The idea, to me, is absurd on its face. But this is not about whether or not the theory is true of false. This is merely a preamble to the real issue I want to discuss.
All my life, I have been something of a nut magnet. If there’s a nut wandering around the streets, the subway, a park, wherever, you can rest assured that out of all the people milling around, it will be me that this person gravitates towards. I never knew why. Perhaps they see a kindred spirit, who knows? A friend of mine, who is a New York City police officer, had said it’s because I make eye contact with them. Once you make eye contact, they will immediately come to you. Stop making eye contact, he said, and I guarantee you that they’ll leave you alone. It was the best advice I ever got. Incidents with random lunatics walking New York City’s streets have gradually decreased ever since I heeded that wonderful advice. Oh, there are incidents now and then, like the old man who came running across the street to me just so he could tell me that they are building new buildings right next to old ones, or the woman who once stopped me in the street to tell me about how her dog could sense all the evil in the city, but other than that, for the most part, I’ve been free of the nut brigade.
But there was this one time, sometime late last summer, where an incident occurred that still has me laughing to this day.
West 57th Street in Manhattan is one of the main arteries that will take you from the west side to the east side with relative ease. This street, off Broadway, off 7th Avenue, is best known for Carnegie Hall, the Carnegie Deli, it’s close proximity to Columbus Circle and Central Park. A nice area if you’re ever in New York. A little busy at times but nice. It was here that I waited outside a small, nondescript diner, right off the corner of 7th Avenue. It is a cheap place to eat, like most diners, the food nothing special, just right if you want to have a quick bite without having to spend and arm and a leg for dinner.
I was waiting for my friend, who had just gotten off of work. She’s a school teacher for a private school in the area. I had got there a little early so I bided my time, waiting out in front, smoking a cigarette, and pretending to be busy with my cell phone in order to keep the nuts at bay. Normally, whenever I stand around waiting for her, the nuts come out of the woodwork and begin to bother me. I was determined to be left alone because it was a hard enough day and I just didn’t want to deal with some random lunatic coming up to talk to me as if they were straight out of “Alice in Wonderland.”
An old woman passed by me, looks at me. She seemed like a nice old lady, somewhat resembling Betty White and about the same age. She stopped, looked around, looking as if she were either lost or looking for directions. She walked up to me, excused herself to get my attention.
“Excuse me,” she said. “Do you live around here?”
“No,” I said. “Just waiting for a friend.”
“Do you work around here?”
“No, I don’t.”
She nodded, looked around again. “Where do you work?”
Oh no, I thought. You’ve got to be kidding me.
“I work downtown,” I said, then immediately went back to playing with the cell phone, hoping she’d just walk away.
Then she mumbled something. I looked at her questioningly.
“Would you like to come home with me?”
I nearly burst out laughing but I was polite, seeing that she was obviously either disturbed or the fact that perhaps she was senile, not knowing what she was asking me.
“I can’t,” I said, “sorry. I’m waiting for a friend right now and…”
“How about any other time?”
I smiled. “No, thank you.”
“Okay, thank you,” she said with a smile, turned on her heels and walked away.
I had just been asked out by an 80-something year old woman.
Only in New York.
But a thought occurred to me right then. I had been so intent on keeping the nuts away from me, so determined, it begged the question, did I just attract a nut to me because I was filled with such negative thoughts about it? I had to laugh. And of course my friend had a good laugh about it when she finally turned up and I told her what happened. It kept her in stitches for about twenty minutes.
I don’t know the answer but I am inclined to believe it was just another random event that takes place in a city with eight million people. Perhaps the old lady was senile. Perhaps she just thought I was a young buck and was looking for a plaything for the night, who knows. If so, kudos to her for still being…uh…active. Thanks but no thanks, lady. Good luck to you. Hey! Think positively about it and perhaps the universe will send that lucky man your way! The Law of Attraction, right?
You got to love New York.
Tags: abracadabra, enlightenment, hocus pocus, holocaust, infinite mystery, jews, law of attraction, m theory, magnet, mysteries, nutshell, positive attitude, positive thoughts, positive vibes, quantum mechanics, religious practice, spiritual journey, string theory, validity, vortex