Precious Moments
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There are moments in our lives that infiltrate our beings in such beautiful ways that your heart could almost break, and sometimes tears flow from absolute joy. When my children were very young I always sang to them, and it was almost always, “You are My Sunshine.” They never cared that I was off-key and couldn’t sing a note to any remotely proper musical place! They would just listen and smile. A parent doesn’t truly know if these moments are absorbed by their children, but once in a while they remind you that there are pockets of their hearts in which they carry you.
My daughter, now grown and a visual clone of me, is married and has two beautiful daughters. Though she lives in another state, I try to see her as often as possible. I soak in each moment, hugging her, adoring her children, and talking with her sweet husband who always makes me feel welcome. Leaving is the most difficult part. The girls hang on me, and my daughter says, “Oh Mom, do you have to leave?” I do so with a heavy heart surrounded in precious moments to ponder till our next visit.
When I arrived home from a visit with them last week, there were five text messages from my daughter. “Mom r u home yet?” “Girls miss u.” “Mom I’m worried. r u home?” “Wish we cld have more time together. I’m feeling sad.” I sent text responses to each after my two hour drive through snow and rain. The last message she sent me was the video I am sharing with you. Yes I am sappy! But I have found that in life it is never the grandiose things that matter. It is the precious moments, like my daughter singing to her youngest child and sharing it with me, knowing the feelings it would evoke. I am still savoring and my heart is overflowing. Till the next time, this will carry me. Never put your children on a fast-forward button!
Someone once told me, “Used-to-be’s don’t count.” I have pondered this often and find that they do count. We are the sum of our life experiences.
I used to be an English and Speech teacher. There will always be a part of me that wants to teach. I used to be an Investigator, first for the government and later in my own private investigations business.
I will always probe beneath the surface of issues and people, looking for the gem-like quality hidden in the text of words and personae. Today I am a writer and all of the used-to-be’s are part of the continuum of this journey.
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Tags: absolute joy, askcherlock, beautiful ways, Cher Duncombe, children, clone, daughter, feelings, granddaughter, heart, hearts, heavy heart, mom, pockets, precious moments, rain, singing, sunshine, text messages, things that matter
“I do so with a heavy heart surrounded in precious moments to ponder till our next visit.”
This is how I feel when I go home to CA for a visit. I leave with my heart strings being pulled tightly. I think it’s wonderful, as painful as it may be, that you feel this way about your kids
Thank you Jen. Love in any form always involves a certain amount of pain, but it is oh so worth it in those special moments.
Lucky children and grandchildren to have you in their lives. I Skyped with my niece and her 15-month-old daughter a couple of days ago, and I miss them so much I can hardly stand it, so I know how you feel. What a loving daughter you have, and what a sweet video. Cher, here’s a big hug for you.
Melody, you are always so kind and have such a huge heart. Your family is blessed to have you! My daughter is also my best friend and my admiration for her is unending. She has suffered from migraines since the age of eight, but graduated summa cum laude from college with a 4.0 GPA against many odds. Now she has a career, raises her children, and has an idyllic marriage. She is my heroine!
Cher, this is a very sweet video and post. I’m with Melody, your children and grandchildren are very lucky to have you as a mom/grandma.
This is wonderful Cher,
Your relationship with your children is a reflection on the job you did raising them to adulthood.
Well done
Dan, as a single mom for most of their childhood years, I was often the bad guy too! My older son told me at the age of five that he wished he could put me in the TV and turn me off! This, after more than a few time-outs, but today they are all enmeshed in fabulous careers. When he buys me that 70″ TV, he is welcome to put me in it!
I understand Cher, I really try hard not to be getting on their case all of the time, but sometimes I’m the bad guy no matter what I do. I think we all hate to be perceived that way by our kids. It’s a constant learning experience for us as parents as they go through their different stages. We do our best and hope that we have raised thoughtful, and kind children who can make their own way in life.
Dan, you are so right when you say that parenting is “a constant learning experience.” No directions come with children! We can only do the best we can. It sounds as though you are doing a remarkable job.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Dean, but I am the lucky one. I love being “Nana”!
That was a lovely moment to share!
“When my children were very young I always sang to them, and it was almost always, “You are My Sunshine.” They never cared that I was off-key and couldn’t sing a note to any remotely proper musical place!”
Reminds me of an interview Steven Tyler gave. He was talking about being invited to be a judge on American Idol, and his concern about how mean he’d be expected to be (filling Simon Cowell’s shoes and all). He said he felt bad about giving negative criticism, because a lot of mothers sing lullabies to their children without being pop stars, and the idea that his criticism might cause a mother to stop singing broke his heart. You obviously did a great job with your kids and deserve to sing your heart out!
Ah, Anya, what a kind thing to say. I sing now to my grandaughters and they only know the key of love.