By December 15, 2013 12 Comments Read More →

I’LL HAVE JUST A SKOSH, PLEASE, or FIX THE DAMNED COMPUTER!

skosh computer

 

And just what is a “skosh”? Well, it’s a little bit of something or a smidgen, if you will. I decided around the time I turned forty that I would pretty much need to watch my diet from that point on. I’m not sure why I chose that age, but it made sense at the time. Thus began my journey of self-deprivation in the food area of my life. I quickly learned that I would build up resentment at no one in particular, since I had forced myself into this. I missed sweets— a lot. And having a family, I baked—a lot. So I decided that if I could have just a skosh of cake or one quarter of a brownie, that would satisfy my craving for sweet treats. Usually it has worked.

But every once in a while, often during a minor crisis, a skosh doesn’t cut it. Right now I am sitting at this computer. Recently it had an ailment that cost several hundred dollars to repair. I’m still mad at it. And yes, I do talk to inanimate objects.

Ten minutes ago I was gazing out the kitchen window solemnly watching clouds and pondering the pompetus of life and computers. Don’t ask! In one hand was an opened jar of peanut butter and a tablespoon. In the other hand was a nice new Hershey’s chocolate syrup container. The ritual is to stand over the kitchen sink with spoonful of peanut butter and drizzle the chocolate syrup over it. Peanut butter is good for you, right? Don’t answer! It’s the damned chocolate that’s a violation. So I got a smaller spoon, drizzled the syrup on the peanut butter and indulged. This ritual is a balm for many ailments. I highly recommend it.

And here I sit in front of my food-substitute addiction, the computer. You never realize how dependent you are on it until it is bed-ridden because some idiot out there gave it a virus. Fortunately, I had strong malware detection, and it shut the whole thing down. It even locked me out of it! I called a computer doc who made an expensive house call. Nine hours later the computer was up and safely running. Now I have three anti-virus programs, a grief-stricken bank account, and I ate more than a skosh of chocolate-drizzled peanut butter. It’s raining outside.

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I am a poet and an artist. What I cannot speak, I write. What I cannot write, I paint!

12 Comments on "I’LL HAVE JUST A SKOSH, PLEASE, or FIX THE DAMNED COMPUTER!"

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  1. Cher, Having your computer down, is like being deserted on a dessert island without any food or drink. It is madness but I know your dilemma. It calls for sustenance to fill your cravings for a connection to something. It is brave of you to allow yourself only a skosh of something forbidden and tasty.

    Your description of your disaster, and it is a disaster of grand proportions, for those who depend on their laptop or tablet for their blood to flow. I am one of the those who use my computer like coffee. Since I don’t drink coffee, I get my fix from whatever one does on their computer.

    Your skosh idea calls for extreme discipline but when faced with your techno friend down, a skosh just is not good enough. Your concoction has inspired me to want to bring a bottle of chocolate syrup into the house. The peanut butter is already a stable. I love peanut butter cups, so a spoonful of syrup to transform the gooey peanut butter into a form that can be swallowed without choking, is a sound plan. Restricting it in the time of a crisis, there just isn’t something right about it. Put your skosh philosophy aside without guilt or punishment afterwards and indulge your need to sooth. Nothing wrong with self-comforting.

    I would do the same and I feel most of us would follow you anywhere if in the same situation. Computers and the nasty hackers with worms, viruses, and other means to bring down a perfectly happy computer to its knees and a complete shutdown. There just isn’t something right about doing that at all.

    Now, I am finding myself just wanting a bottle of chocolate syrup and to take my jar of Peter Pan smooth peanut butter. Get the spoons prepared. Rest my head over the kitchen sink and one spoon then another, consume your delicious concoction of a dollop of peanut butter in first, followed generously by an overflowing spoonful of creamy flowing chocolate syrup.

    I am sure not all will wind up inside of one’s mouth but with effort most of it will. A day with out metering a skosh of delight is best taken advantage of when one has such a frustrating excuse, which makes the lack of the skosh perfectly acceptable.

    I’m with you, going for the treat to reward yourself for being so patient about the expense and extreme inconvenience that is disrupting your life.

    I do hope you were able to focus on enjoying your treat and letting the strict skosh rules take a time out. Skoshing does sound like something I would not find easy to do. Though, I am not much of a sweets eater. If I do indulge, I need to usually eat what I want or need to without measurement.

    It takes strength and conviction to stick to it. Good for you, Cher for being so disciplined. :-)

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    • avatar Cher Duncombe says:

      Jennifer, you are entirely too kind but that is part of what makes you endearing. I should be able to take such setbacks in stride, but alas, I do not. I pace; I fret; I indulge. The last part, though, is fun and delicious. Thanks for your kindness and forgiveness of my flaws. :)

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  2. Computers are modern ‘oracles’ which we consult and we use to transmit ideas ;) I usually indulge in orange or mango juice when I am moody. I passed by this little cafeteria the other day and tasted their pizza. I asked the owner about it because it’s very delicious. He said it’s home made. I will order 4 boxes this Christmas day :D

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    • avatar Cher Duncombe says:

      You found home-made pizza, Baxter? That is a feat! Do indulge on Christmas day and know you have my full approval. :) We have a mango tree in our yard that does produce fruit, but we must get the mangoes before they fall and before the squirrels get them. I should get a juicer and make that concoction you like. I will let you know how that goes. :)

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  3. avatar Larry Conley says:

    Cher,

    I know of nobody else who could write so enchantingly about a protracted struggle with the normal desire to eat or in the new age, to search, write, post and so on.

    I am sorry for the struggle; glad you are carrying it on; delighted that you shared this truly engaging essay on the whole thing!

    As ever,

    Larry

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    • avatar Cher Duncombe says:

      Larry, what can we say about computers, other than we can’t live without them. The genie is out of the box. I am just as addicted to my Droid as I am to my laptop. Every so often the Droid falls into a cup of coffee and I just get a new one. Too bad the laptop isn’t so easy. :)

      Thank you for your kindness, as always, my friend.

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  4. avatar Chris B says:

    Ah, the ever maddening computer! I support the idea that there are gremlins inside who simply wait for us to relax and throw costly repairs as we sit waiting to get back online and re-connect sitting there saying, “open, open…OPEN!,” to the darn thing! LOL!

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  5. avatar Chris B says:

    P.S. A Skosh is a term I grew up with too!! :-)

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  6. avatar Cher Duncombe says:

    Chris, what a welcome sight you are here! I believe that there are evil gremlins in our computers. Not only is the NSA watching, reading, and listening to all we do, but there are those alien gremlins that crop up when we can least afford such a problem and I think they sing, lalalalala the entire time. I was not pleased, not pleased at all. Have a skosh of peanut putter and chocolate, Christi! ;)

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  7. I’ve not had any viruses on this new computer, touch plastic, but it’s less than a year old. My last laptop lasted five years with only virus resuling in a visit to the computer repair shop. As someone who is on the computer for most of the day I can say that anything that affords me a break from the laptop is welcome, although i’m not going as far as thanking the computer virus merchants. Don’t think anything will cure my love of chocolate although nicotine and caffeine make a pretty good substitute.

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  8. avatar Cher Duncombe says:

    Garry, I am with you on both cures for chocolate, though I have quit smoking. There are days when my craving for that substitute leads me to phrases best not said aloud. Oh all right, “Just one, pulllease, just one!” Without the nicotine, my caffeine just doesn’t cut it. I have become one of THOSE people who walk around with plastic bottles of water. They ruin the environment so this is a no-win situation all around.

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    • Ah well better for your health I guess. Christmas is a time for chocolate though. Cigarettes without coffee, that doesn’t seem right somehow, i’m doing both right now trying to wake up. I will quit, maybe, perhaps, one day either that or cigarettes will quit me.

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