By December 10, 2013 10 Comments Read More →

I Need My Inner Bitch Back!

*Previously published on http://liferiddles.net/

my inner bitch

I read an article today written by a woman, and she knocked me out with her salty, tell-it-like-you-see-it self. Reading that article made me realize that I miss the bitch in me. YOU may not miss her, but I do. I laughed more when she was around. Somewhere along the way, I lost her. We get so caught up in people-pleasing that we sometimes lose the essence of what drew folks to us in the first place. Well, okay, not everyone was drawn to my inner bitch. The point is, I lost the bitch. Where is she?

She may be under the tire tracks of the real estate agent who ripped me off when I sold my house at a price which was ridiculously low at the time and way before the market dropped. I was an empty-nester with a six bedroom Victorian that I had completely renovated. During the open houses, etc., there was a tragedy in the family. I lost stamina. The agent took control. My fault, I know. Never let them see your weakness.

Of course, my bitch could have been left in scratches on the boss who tried to sexually assault me when he walked me “safely” to my car after an evening of drinks with co-workers. Let’s not even go there. Just know it was demoralizing and that, no, women don’t ask for it. Trust me, if I had wanted it, it wouldn’t have been from him.

I did find my bitch one day in a store one day. I had stood in line—an express line—for ten minutes while this cashier analyzed everything the lady in front of me was purchasing, mostly home décor stuff. “You know if you mix these colors up like this, it will look better,” she was saying. Dawdling. She was dawdling around and I was in a hurry. That’s why I was in the EXPRESS lane. Finally I said, “Look, you don’t get paid to decorate. You should focus on service and I need to get out of here!” That didn’t go well. When I told my daughter about the encounter she informed me that I was going to hell for hurting that woman’s feelings. Bitch!

Then there was the car salesman who convinced me that I really needed that $1250 warranty which never did a darn bit of good. Anything that ever happened with that car wasn’t covered. What good is a freaking warranty if it doesn’t cover anything?

Well, there it is. If you see my bitch, tell her to come home. I should have placed a bounty on her!

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About the Author:

I am a poet and an artist. What I cannot speak, I write. What I cannot write, I paint!

10 Comments on "I Need My Inner Bitch Back!"

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  1. Now, I don’t feel your Inner Bitch should be reprimandeded for trying to protect you. We all need The Inner Bitch to be bold for us when we don’t want to take on that role. I have gone off on a few people in my time. It wasn’t pretty but then I didn’t know I had that kind of rage in me or where it came from but it did it’s thing then would leave. I felt safe.

    You are right, the sales checkout clerk in the express lane should know better than to treat time leisurely when she is in express. Not giving tips for whatever reason. Patience is a virtue but not so much when you are in a hurry.

    But I have a question to stop the moment, exactly what does it mean “to be in a hurry?” What are we in a “hurry” for? Nothing can happen with us if we are not someplace yet. When we do arrive then things can start up for us.

    I drive sometimes so fast b/c I am in a hurry to get to an appointment I am always arriving early for, which means, I won’t be ten minutes early, just three minutes early. So what is that all about. Some people could care less about time and never start on time. They can do it, why can’t I? Or you feel the need to be in a hurry? Why? I hate being late to a fault. It makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong. But that’s definitely another story.

    The Inner Bitch really is our protector. She takes responsibility for things we don’t have to. She stands up for us in an unjust situation. She keeps us from wandering into cults b/c we don’t notice that is what we are stuck in. She is the one who will stand up & get us the Hell out if we do make that mistake. You need your Inner Bitch to protect you from such things.

    For me, I am too shy to be the one to slam doors. My Inner Bitch can do that when we feel angry with no problem. The Inner Bitch is brave, where we want to be polite. Polite is nice but it doesn’t do anything to protect you from the awful & horrible people in the world. Those who want to take advantage of you. There are far too many of those people. We call then predators and they are all around.

    So, I ask your Inner Bitch to come back. Tell her she is very welcome. If you can do that, I will try to do the same. It’s time to say “We Are Mad As Hell & We Are Not Going To Take This Anymore.” If Peter Finch can yell it out on TV as a News Caster in the film “Network” and get the whole world of cities to throw open their windows to shout these words out, then so can we. It is out right to be angry & not be the little girl inside who was told to be quiet & polite & listen to our elders.

    I’m with you all the way on this one, Cher. A great article & a real motivator. You have my blood flowing. Yes!!! Jk :D

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    • avatar Cher Duncombe says:

      Jennifer, there is righteous anger, isn’t there, so we should be able to release the inner bitch when we perceive a righteous need. Amen and Amen! You were right when you said she ‘stands up for us in unjust situations.’ Like a cult! :)

      We have been raised, in our generation, to “act like ladies” and we do, but we should also have an inner weapon that speaks for us in certain situations. Many of us walk away from a circumstance and later say to ourselves, I should have said this, or I should have said that. If we allow our inner bitch to take over, her timing will be perfect. Oh yes.

      As to constantly feeling the need to be on time, you and I share that. I don’t hurry all the time but once again, I was raised that it is only polite to be on time. Late is unacceptable.

      As an aside: You MUST see “Magnolia” because then you will understand what I mean when I say, “Respect The Bitch!”

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  2. avatar Larry Conley says:

    Cher,

    I can see from the incidents you related why you might be looking for the bitch. I would suggest, however, she is not lost. She has transformed into your inner witch.

    You are now, at least in my mind, the Good Witch. The magic worker who enlightens all who are fortunate enough to know you and brings grace to every place you visit. The witch can protect you as well as the bitch, but she does so in ways that leave others changed, but not scarred.

    The main point for me is that you be protected against any and all threats and inequities. You are to good to be treated badly at any time by any one.

    As ever,

    Larry

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  3. avatar Cher Duncombe says:

    Well, Larry, I don’t think I want to be called a witch, even a good witch, though your intentions are sweet. Any cult-like name gives me the willies. Covens and witches and magic don’t suit my other ladylike side. The point is that you are a Knight who always looks out for his friends and that is most appreciated. Women like that. Men like you are not always around, though, so we need this inner bitch to clear the room.

    Thank you, as always, for being such a gentleman. :)

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    • avatar Larry Conley says:

      Cher,

      Janene says it -- “sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.”

      I do not think that is being a bitch in the truly pejorative sense of the term.

      “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do” was an adage I grew up with. Nobody called any man acting in that way a demeaning name. Neither should women standing up for themselves be demeaned.

      We have two related rights and responsibilities. One -- treat others humanely; two -- support others in standing up for themselves.

      So I retract the witch and respect the bitch. I just don’t think the terminology does justice to female assertiveness.

      As ever,

      Larry

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      • avatar Cher Duncombe says:

        Larry, you are such an enlightened man! The word “bitch” does connote many negatives, but as you stated, women do need to stand up for themselves. You made me laugh with, “respect the bitch!” It is such a funny line if you see the ’90′s film, “Magnolia.” You remain: The Champ! :)

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  4. avatar Janene says:

    I hate it when my inner bitch has to come out but, alas, sometimes it does. As they say, you gotta do what you gotta do. :)

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  5. avatar Cher Duncombe says:

    I agree, Janene. It is a survival mechanism. :)

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  6. That’s why I love strong female characters in TV and movies. They don’t take bullshit and they tell it as it is. You did the right thing telling her off. I am sure she was there to brag about her ‘expertise’ in these things but at the expense of others who might be in a hurry because people depend on them or they really have serious stuff going on.

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  7. avatar Cher Duncombe says:

    Baxter, I so appreciate a man who appreciates a strong woman. Sometimes I will write about a snippet of life because I think others can relate. I am certainly not after a Pulitzer, nor do I have delusions of self-grandeur. It’s those little pockets of life, just as they are, and without embellishment, that make life and writing interesting.

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