By February 18, 2012 8 Comments Read More →

Instant Gratification

I find myself on Facebook, chatting with a
Brazilian kid who friended me through a particular
Turn of events that went like this:

Brad wanted to compliment a skater on a
Certain maneuver he made in Thrasher’s
Hill bomb video contest and
The ridiculousness of the subjugation of the
Internet by social media meant that he
Needed a Facebook account to comment

So he logged into my account and
Posted what he had to say (all love and respect)
And as a joke, thought up as we were regarding my
Profile picture next to his words

He added that it took a girl to point it out

Through the magic of the internet the skater
(Who turned out to be a young Brazilian dude)
Sent a friend request to me
I accept
Why not?

Many months passed and then
Tonight the dulcet tones of the Facebook messenger
Notification sounded and
It was he – the Brazilian

I laughed
I turned to Brad and asked
‘Mauro just messaged me, asking
What should I say?’

He shrugged and said, ‘Whatever you would
Normally say, I guess’
So I replied

And it unfolded, corner by corner, the way
Our acquaintance was truly born
He laughed and said
‘I get it’

And asked me polite questions
(And asked my age, cheeky lad)
And was impressed that Brad still skates

I asked Brad if he wanted to chat with Mauro directly
Instead, and he declined with all respect
In a hurry to get laundry and dinner going
So I continue, sharing every comment and
Mostly adopting his replies verbatim

Signing off, I told Mauro Brad would send him a
Message at some point, and Mauro said sure
And then the cheeky lad called me a cougar
I just turned 35
I got carded into my 30s
I feign offense but the truth is
My reaction belies the truth of the yawning
Gap of years because
I want to pinch his cheeks

And I find it odd that this conversation has become thus
Odd enough that I want to post about it on Facebook, but
That, too, has its own oddity

So I wrote this here instead

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Instant Gratification, 10.0 out of 10 based on 4 ratings
Posted in: Humor

About the Author:

A work in progress...
  • Larry Conley


    Quite interesting Facebook saga. Thanks for sharing!

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  • Very cool! It’s funny how things can go on Facebook. I got in contact with an Italian lady who lives in Australia a while ago. We chatted a bit and she commissioned me for a painting, later I found out that she had relatives who were also called Lubrano, chances are we are related! Okay, maybe it’s far away in the distance, but I thought it was pretty cool 🙂

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    • Anya

      That *is* very cool! Did you do any research on it? I once ran into an old workmate from Texas in London. Turned out I was about to rent her room in the flat I’d just moved into. 🙂 (Not a Facebook story, but the world has definitely gotten smaller in a lot of ways.) 🙂

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      • Ah really! That is awesome 🙂 It’s a Small World indeed!!

        Nope, haven’t done any research yet. My dad has started to go through the family tree and see what information he can get by just asking around. Sad thing is that in the early days information wasn’t kept that strict, so not sure how much information he can find on his Italian side of the family. He’s now working on the Portuguese side.

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        • Anya

          I know how that is. My family is Vietnamese, and considering that we just got a writing system during French colonial times, there aren’t many records that trace my family back more than 4 or 5 generations. Good luck!

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          • It’s fascinating, but difficult at the same time huh? Haha. Thank you so much! 🙂

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  • Something similar happened when I was on MySpace. A guy I didn’t know friended me, and in a very un-Jen fashion, I accepted it. He invited me to a Halloween party he was having at his house some weeks later, and I went with a few of my friends. We ended up having the best time! He and I hung out regularly until he took a job in Chicago, and we still keep in contact through Skype.

    The internet can be a funny place!

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    • Anya

      It can be, indeed. I made a friend in NYC by buying gelato -- he was manning the stand, and we started hanging out. In some ways, I miss making friends in person that way, bcs the internet is (in a lot of ways) safer in that it gives you some distance from a stranger. But I think it also promotes our suspicious natures. I would *prefer* to live in a world where I can meet a stranger without fearing for my life or property.

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