Help Me Mr. Wizard!
[media-credit id=7 align="aligncenter" width="300"][/media-credit]Every one of us has an area of interest that is completely foreign to other people. Sometimes we are taken aback when we see people dabbling in our area of expertise, and we see them doing it in an utterly bad way. We want to reach out to them and slap them around a bit and then say. “Come under my wing, and I will guide you.” But other times you just want to run away, and run away as fast as we can!
I’m always looking at the next new technology thing coming down the road; I compulsively read articles on trends, and try to figure out how I can play with new and different technologies so I can learn about them. It’s a compulsion; it’s just the way that my brain is wired. I’m especially drawn to computers, and have been since about 1980. My brain is packed full of information about computers and related stuff. I could probably use a trash can icon in my head so I could empty some of the old information because it just keep piling up, and up, and up. Like a balloon filling with air, and if it gets too full it could POP! Lately I think my computer information may have even hogged some of the room that is reserved for Star Trek facts, and that’s just unfair. There are dangers with retaining this knowledge, and an event could occur that is so profound it could send me spinning off into insanity! Yesterday, one of those event happened. Is this the end?
Recently my wife had Carroll -one of her friends- stop by. She hadn’t seen Carroll in some time, and Carroll just wanted to share some information about a beekeeping demonstration happening the next day. They both share the love of chicken raising and bee keeping which I have reserved very little space in my brain for. I like scrambled eggs, and honey in my tea, but that’s as far as it goes. But before Carroll left she asked if she could have the flier back with the bee keeping demonstration information, and that she only had one copy.
“Sure,” I said, “but first let me scan it, it will only take a minute”
“Wow, you can do that?” she said as she looked at me with amazement. I could see a thought bubble over her head forming that read “Gee, you must be a wizard.”
“Well, yes I can scan it, just give me another 30 seconds and I’ll give your paper back to you.”
After the brief visit I commented to my wife about the scanning, and told her that all I did was scan the flier. Then my wife told me a story, it was a story of madness, a story that would bring any sane computer nerd to crazy land. The story left me with my mouth wide open, and I think I ate a fly.
Carroll shared that she was shocked to hear that Encyclopedia Britannica would stop printing, and that she beseeched her husband to buy a set before it was too late. But alas her tight wad hubby wouldn’t do it. He instead forked out big bucks to purchase a new MAC computer. A smart move I thought after remembering about the computer issues they had in the past with their PC. MACs are good machines, and harder to screw up for complete neophytes. And the Encyclopedia Britannica can’t even come close to competing with the internet.
But the real story is that Carroll had started writing articles about classical music. Good for her, I thought to myself. But that is where the weirdness began. Carol isn’t using her new MAC to write these articles. According to Carroll her husband wouldn’t let her buy a printer, so she drives to the library and works on her articles there. Carroll writes her articles using the word processor on the library’s computer, and then prints out her work when she leaves. If she doesn’t have time to finish she then re-types the entire document from the printout she’s made from her last visit and then continues on. She is using printouts as a memory stick for her work.
Apparently the new MAC that they purchased came with a memory stick, but she doesn’t know how to use it. Carroll is saving her printouts to one day send them into a magazine with the hopes that they will get published.
Little pops could be heard inside of my head, I could feel neurons committing suicide, others were maniacally giggling, and some were sitting in a corner sucking their thumbs, while rocking back and forth. Am I now insane? Would I recognize my own insanity is I was insane? Are those worms that I now feel on the inside my brain? “AAAAaaaaaaaaa!” Oh it’s only Tom Petty playing on Pandora “AAAAaaaaaaaaa!”
Carroll’s husband works for the local newspaper, and by some miracle still has a job. I think they are both a bit insane to be trying to turn back the clock to a time when everything we read was printed on paper. I’m sure this is their way of trying to fight off technology so her husband keeps his job. And I’m sure this all makes perfect sense in their insane world, but the technology genie is out of the bottle. We are not going to start buying more newspapers, buying more books at Barns and Noble, and start using phone books again. When a phone book is dropped on my doorstep, I pick it up and immediately shove it in the recycle bin.
I have to give Carroll some credit because she said she had asked her husband to contact me for help, but she said he didn’t want to. But I was in the next room when she visited and she could have asked me how to use a memory stick in person, so this isn’t really all about him. I’m sure all of this has as much to do with their kooky relationship with each other as it does with their relationship with computers.
I just try and keep kooky at arm’s length. I wonder, do they make spray on Teflon for the brain? You know something that wouldn’t let craziness stick. Nutty thoughts from others would just slide off your brain like a fried egg in a frying pan commercial. Or maybe spray on super ball coating, then nuttiness would just bounce off. I guess until they invent such a thing I’m just going to have to resist saying out loud “Can you be any more ignorant!” when I hear that someone is using a stack of paper as a memory stick, and happily doing it.
Have a great day.
Tags: computer, computers, Dan LaFollette, Firkroy, flash memory, MAC, memory stick, Wizard