Feeling self conscious when drawing in public.
[media-credit id=3 align=”aligncenter” width=”619″][/media-credit]I love to observe my surroundings. Ideas for future drawings and stories are there in plain sight. Hidden in simple movements or whispering from the people around you. Well, they are, if you observe.
As soon as I am outside, my mind drifts away and I watch the people sitting or passing by. From my household, I’m the only who does this. This usually result in my sisters looking strange at me when they realize I’m not really there. It can also explain why I trip so often. I shall tell you a few of the things I’ve observed in the past.
I can recall this one time when I went to work and the metro was quite empty. There was an old dude who sneezed so loud that I thought his glasses would fly away. Really, if you weren’t awake till that point…The Sneeze would’ve made sure you were clutching your bag in fear and looking around in panic. The Sneeze had that effect on people. I wrote it down to add into a story piece.
Then we have the Random Yelling Dude. This man was screaming random things like “Horse! Central Station! Willem Alexander (that’s the prince of Holland)! What does he have to do then?!” then he would spit several times on the ground and add a few curse words here and there before he started to sing Whooeeee.
Maybe they were a hidden messages? I don’t know.
Other examples? Let’s see…oh! There was a guy who had an imaginary phone and he was really talking to it. I mean he was talking to his hand. He had an entire conversation with this other person. What made it even more funny was how he stared in disbelief at his hand like the person said something shocking. I did my very best not to laugh out loud or stare too long at him. This other time there was a lady who kind of gave me the creeps, because she just had a blank stare. She kept staring and she hardly blinked. She also had big eyes and this only made it worse.
See? Perfect characters for a story and/or drawing right there.
A while back, Julian wrote an excellent piece about writing in public and regarding reading and writing in public, for me this seems to go a lot easier than drawing. Maybe it has something to do with the fact I read a lot on my way to college? I had no choice, because the workload for my classes was very high. So I didn’t pay attention to everyone around me as I simply had to read. And when I write, it seems that the buzzing noises and little sounds from everyone around me transform into pieces of conversations and the scenes are created in my head.
But with drawing it’s a bit different. It seems to me that everyone is watching every line I put on paper to see how the image gets shape. Because I have this in my mind, I always mess up! Well, not really mess up, but I can’t seem to capture the image like I want to. I’m very self-conscious of all the eyes around me. It seems like everyone is waiting for a masterpiece to come alive. Aaah the pressure! I can create quick thumbnail sketches, but in the end these are only readable to me. I don’t know why I have this with drawing and not with writing. Maybe it’s more interesting to watch how one draws as it kind of looks like a dance when the pencil moves over the paper? I know that when I see another artist draw in public, I stare. So maybe I automatically think that others will stare when I draw as well. I usually stare and observe people, because that’s what a proper stalker does…*ahem*
Have to say, I’m learning not to pay attention when others watch me draw. I’m drawing every day, so sometimes my sisters are watching or my little brother. I guess it also has a lot to do with feeling confident in making mistakes in front of someone else. I mean, in my room I can mess up a drawing and no one will see it. When I draw in public and people are staring, they will see when I mess up. In the end, I need to be able to put this obstacle aside. It’s a matter of practice.
It’s very easy to think that you’re the only one observing the world around you, but while I’m observing someone, another person is observing me. It only makes sense and therefore the observer is being observed.
And you know what….this is another doodle on its own!
For more TJ Art and Ramblings, please visit A Look in a Creative Mind.
About the Author: TJ Lubrano
Tahira Lubrano, also known as TJ, was a Master Sociology student, but now she is chasing her dreams as an artist. You can find ramblings and observations surrounded by her own illustrations at her blog A Look in a Creative Mind. Everything is magical there and you are most welcome to float along and wander around her imaginative world. br> View My Profile