Throwing Away Talent.
5 
“Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should”~ Seth Godin
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[/media-credit]The littlest of sentence can start a ponder process in my brain. I already mentioned (at least I think I did) that the ability to draw runs in the family and the person I always looked up to for this ability is my uncle.
Ever since I was little, I wished I could draw like him. To me, he is an amazing artist and since I never was at his level when I was younger, I never realized I could do more with my drawing as well. He was so good at it and it wasn’t his career, so why would I even bother to do more with it?
Yeah. It’s quite easy to talk yourself out of something by thinking I will never be as good.
I pursued my other interests and went to piano and ballet lessons. However, as soon as you drop out of something you’re quite good at, you hear things like ‘Oh she’s wasting her talent’, ‘What a shame! He is so good at it’, ‘Oh no, she didn’t!’ and so on.
I had my fair share when I quit ballet and piano lessons. I really like ballet and I love the piano, but to actually muster up the motivation to be focused, study and practice for it…I lacked that. I tried to continue for a while though, especially with ballet. My teacher really believed I had to do more with ballet and I didn’t want to let my parents down. However, my love for it started to fade away. It became a chore and the fun was gone.
Back to drawing. As soon as I noticed that people liked my art, I had my uncle in mind. If I could make people happy with my art, he certainly could do this as well…right?
When we had an arty conversation, I said things like ‘You really should get back to it’, ‘Your skills are awesome’.
He mentioned that he wasn’t motivated enough, didn’t feel the passion for it or the urge to draw…
Then I realized that I did the same thing. I tried to think up arguments for him why he should pick up his drawing again. If he doesn’t want to or doesn’t have reasons why he should pursue it…who am I to push him into that direction? The fact that he can draw, doesn’t mean he has to do something with it. Plus, having the ability to draw is only one part of the package. You have to put in a lot of hours of hard work and dedication to make this work. Now, I don’t know whether he will start drawing again, but he did mention that I inspired him to look into it again. To inspire someone who always has inspired me…now THAT is one of the biggest compliments for me.
Personally, when someone has a certain skill, but isn’t actually doing something with it, I don’t consider it as a waste. Your heart has to be in it and when it gets difficult, most of the times a reminder of why you’re doing things different should be enough to get back on track.
I’m still wondering something though: when should you stop trying to help and motivate someone?
Sometimes one does need a reminder of why he or she should pick up e.g. a craft again. Sometimes they don’t. In the end you can only do so much for someone, because the real change starts with yourself. I strongly believe that if something is meant to be, it will keep stumbling onto your path until you can’t ignore it anymore.
For more TJ Art and Ramblings, please visit A Look in a Creative Mind.
Throwing Away Talent.,
Tahira Lubrano, also known as TJ, was a Master Sociology student, but now she is chasing her dreams as an artist. You can find ramblings and observations surrounded by her own illustrations at her blog A Look in a Creative Mind. Everything is magical there and you are most welcome to float along and wander around her imaginative world. View My Profile
Tags: drawing skills, painting, pursuing dreams, seth godin, throwing away talent, TJ Lubrano
“I strongly believe that if something is meant to be, it will keep stumbling onto your path until you can’t ignore it anymore.” EXACTLY!!
People will find their own path -- as the saying goes (paraphrasing), “You can’t change people, only yourself.” I am glad you are following your passion and have the motivation to keep with it. We are the lucky ones because you share it with us
HIGH FIVE!!
You also have an another saying right? Something like “if you want to change the world start with yourself”…? You can make a change if you really want to. I honestly can’t imagine my life without this now AND I am also lucky to have you guys who are willing to join me on this journey
I don’t see it as my job to motivate anyone unless, say, they’re totally despondent and have taken a drastic turn and are not doing anything they NEED to be doing. It isn’t my duty to decide what anyone other than myself SHOULD BE doing. I don’t know what’s best for them.
I can draw too. Does that mean I want to make money from it? No. I went to art school. I put in some time developing that talent. People like what I do and tell me I should do more. I have practically no desire to do so. I am happy with the little bit I do in drawing for Abigail and I use what I’ve learned about color, etc in the way I design my house and decorate. I’m happy with that.
Also? We are capable of so much. I don’t believe we’re expected to take each of our gifts or talents and run with them to the furthest goal. We choose which makes us happy. Frankly, I’m happier looking at your work than I am in creating my own.
Lovely to see you here, Elisa
I don’t consider motivating others a job either, but it’s natural for me to motivate others if I notice that someone has awesome abilities. Sometimes a nudge is needed, but of course I won’t push that person if I see that nothing is done by themselves. I suppose you have to find a balance in the end.
I knoooow you can draw and I wanna see it someday
In the end, as long as you know what makes you happy nothing (or no one else) should matter. You know in what way the knowledge you acquired benefits you. Sometimes my mom does ask me if I’m not sad with all the years I spent with studying. I don’t consider my college years a waste, I just use the knowledge I have differently and it did help me to become the person I am today.
I am happy that my work makes you happy!! It’s the same with piano, I don’t have to play it myself as I’m happy enough to hear my sister & brother play.
I’m so with you on this, TJ. If you don’t have the desire or motivation, why waste your life doing something you don’t love? I’ve been lucky enough not to find anything I’m really talented at, so I’ve never had to ‘waste’ any skills. I’ve just followed my passions and (hopefully) have gotten better at doing what I like to do.
Woohoo! Another High Five!! I think, when you look at how many people are stuck in their day jobs, it’s quite easy to settle down for something that you rather don’t want to do just because it’s easier and people won’t ask questions. Never forget, You ARE a talented writer Janene!!! Always follow the Light aka your passions…hehe
My #1 most hated phrase of all time is, “You’re not living up to your potential.” I’ll show those people where they can stuff my potential.
I firmly believe that talent alone does not an artist make. Being able to draw is a skill. Being able to draw with passion is talent. I think sometimes people get those two confused. The same goes for dancing, writing, music…whatever.
I do agree that sometimes the universe keeps trying to send us a message, but it’s up to each of us whether or not we want to receive it.
These posts of yours get better every week!
Aaargh!! Such a rude phrase -_-’
People are easily confused I think. Evey now and then, and then especially when there is ballet on TV, my mom also still asks me if I would go back to it if I could turn back time. Truth is, maybe I would. Sometimes I do wonder if I would be a performer now or if I’d switched to another dance style, but then the dedication comes in mind and…I’m kinda relieved that I don’t have to practice all those hours. Dancing is a sport and I’m happy with what I know now. So this is a message from the Universe that I’ve set aside
Thank you so much!! I am so happy you like the posts.
Although I wouldn’t tell people where to “stuff my potential”, but I totally agree with you Jen.
TJ, your dedication to art and your own fascination with it is enough to motivate you and perhaps others who may have talent yet to be explored. Your own joy shows in each of your illustrations. While you may wish for someone to re-explore their potential, the end result may be a smile for a person who does not feel like smiling. Or it may be a whimsical fantasy for those who have given up on dreams. Never underestimate the power of your art.
Sweet Cher! You won’t believe how often I am still amazed and curious at what is hidden in my own little world. Which is a good thing, but sometimes I drive my sister crazy haha. I wish for everyone that what happened to me, happens for them as well. That is to find their passion, but when I look back, I know drawing has always there, I simply got enough courage to accept its presence and the challenges that came with it. Thank you so much, as always! xoxo!
Sweet TJ, you have a delicate strength about you that enriches us all. <3
A Gazillion Hugs to You!!! <3
T J,
“I strongly believe that if something is meant to be, it will keep stumbling onto your path until you can’t ignore it anymore.”
I believe you are precisely correct. As long as one has enough time, one may get the message the Cosmos is trying to send.
Another good article! Keep them coming.
Larry
Hi Larry and a big thank you!! One does need to take the time and keep the ears and eyes open as well. Who knows what messages are out there, waiting to be captured lalalaaa
I agree with Elisa. While the idea of being told “Your not talented enough” is bad enough, it hurts even more to be told that others enjoy your talent and encourage you to pursue it -- even if you don’t want to.
That’s exactly how I felt when my family told me that, although I’m deeply passionate about singing and music (and I could practice for hours and rarely if ever get bored with it), they said I wasn’t good enough to make it as a career. Whereas I did have some agility (or talent) in art, however -- over the years, I realized it will never exceed my love for music. It is a fun trick to do when your really bored, but otherwise (to me) its not important and honestly, if I had pursued it as a career, eventually I would have dropped it. Because my heart is just not in it.
At the end of the day, I feel you don’t have to pursue your “talent”, if its something you just don’t feel the drive for.
I prefer to admire someone else’s art rather than create any more drawings.
Hi Emily! Lovely to see you here
It definitely hurts more when you’re being told to pursue something only because it makes others happy. That just isn’t fair as the “enjoyers” have the easy task to listen/watch whenever they want and you are stuck with the practice hours and all the other things that lurk around the corner. I had the same thing when I was doing my second study. I wasn’t doing it for myself at all, but I was the one stuck with the books, exams and whatnot. With art it’s different, I simply can’t imagine my life without it. And you know, life is too short to do only what others want/expect from you.
Have you pursued your singing/music in the end?
Big thanks for sharing your thoughts
Hi TJ,
Its always easier to be an “enjoyer” -- but when they start trying to encourage or pester you too often about developing a talent, when you have no further interest in it, then their “polite suggestions” eventually become problematic and hurtful, even if its unintentional. I guess it really depends on the person. For some people, they don’t mind it and for others, it can be difficult.
Yes, I still try to work on developing my talent (skill) in singing -- but it is extremely difficult. But I look on every failure as a positive and it only makes me want to try to do better.
“But I look on every failure as a positive and it only makes me want to try to do better.” -- You’re so right! You can only learn from your mistakes.
I wish you all the luck with your singing! If you ever have e.g. a Youtube video…let me know
Enjoy your weekend!
[...] a while back where I discuss it a wee bit. You can have a read if you have some time to spare, “Throwing Away Talent”. But yeah, in short, I went to ballet for two years give or take. This is the only form of [...]
I totally relate to this. Since childhood, thanks to my awesome parents, I’ve been allowed and able to do basically…everything. Ballet, swimming, piano, tennis, singing, drawing etc. At the moment, I’m still actually practicing all of them, some I love more than others (singing, in particular, is part of me), but the fact that I can do so much but didn’t actually persue a career in them or something comes as such a shock or a delusion to some people…Just as the quote says, just because you can do something, it doesn’t mean you should lol
Heeey Giulia! So lovely to see you here and happy you can relate to this!
Sounds like you had lots of fun growing up, surrounding yourself with so many cool things. There is this odd unbalance when it comes to this. There are so many people who never chase their dreams or pursue their hobbies, but when it comes to someone else they are always “shocked”. It’s pretty interesting to see. Haha.
Thank you again!