By November 6, 2012 11 Comments Read More →

Stop Being A Control Freak.

[media-credit id=3 align=”aligncenter” width=”422″][/media-credit]Okay, I am not a scary big control freak that goes on a rampage when things aren’t going my way. Most of the time, I’m a relaxed person and I try to take things as they come. However, when it comes to my work, I like to have some structure so I know things get done. I can break this subject down into various elements, but for now I’ll focus on having a lovely schedule and then getting knocked of your path AND the need to have everything figured out before I show the world something new.

I always give myself some sort off deadline when I work on projects and commissions. The deadlines I have are in a way flexible, but I rather don’t move them around too much. Needless to say, I get upset when I have a nice schedule and suddenly lots of other things come on my path that demand immediate attention. And this is exactly what happened to me the last couple of months. There were a bunch of situations knocking me from my schedule and this annoyed me to no end. I won’t bore you with all of them, but for example, I know that I can’t foresee that my wisdom teeth will act up. The point is that even though I know that things can get in the way, I still get annoyed.

You may wonder, “So, how did you manage to prevent yourself from going on a scary rampage?” Well, believe it or not, after the initial – staring into the distance being incredibly annoyed-, I did manage to find some positive elements in it. Examples are, realizing I could combine several projects together and work more efficiently, narrowing down my focus points and taking more breaks. Another thing that I realized is that I don’t have to have a perfect plan to start something new, like recording paint process videos. Recently I uploaded my first video ever on Youtube. With most ideas that pop in my mind, I think it through and make a little plan. Just to make sure I don’t overlook something. For videos, I had in mind to do an intro, a voice-over and whatnot. However, there was always something that prevented me from the actual recording part.

But then one day, I was just sitting at my desk, staring at a sketch, then staring at a camera and I decided to record. I had now no idea how I wanted to paint her, but I just set –up and started painting. And you know, it turned out pretty good. So why did I wait so long huh?

Well, I realized that because I can “control” what I could show you all, I let my perfectionism hinder me as I wanted to have a fun edited video. I can always do this of course, but with my current schedule I just need to make proper use of the time I have available now. Also, even though I have a waterproof plan for recording videos, things can still go wrong. I just need to imprint it in my brain that I can’t control every little element in my business and so far whenever control got taken out of my hands, it turned out for the better. At least, I made sure that I found some positivity in it.

But it’s definitely not easy. Sometimes I accept the fact that things don’t always go my way without getting annoyed and other times I get terribly frustrated and go like “Whyyyyyy!?

 “It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.” – Wayne Dyer

Or in my case, running around in circles.

There are so many uncertain factors in what I do, so to have some certainty is nice and calming for my mind. There’s something else that has been on my mind as well, but you’ll have to wait till next time.

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About the Author:

Tahira Lubrano, also known as TJ, was a Master Sociology student, but now she is chasing her dreams as an artist. You can find ramblings and observations surrounded by her own illustrations at her blog A Look in a Creative Mind. Everything is magical there and you are most welcome to float along and wander around her imaginative world. View My Profile

  • http://www.tiredofpreviews.com Katy Kern

    Great post, TJ. I think many people need to stop and remember what you are saying here. Life’s too short to try and control everything to make it perfect. Life’s not perfect…haha.
    I was a control freak to a certain degree but recently had a change of heart about the whole thing. “Winging it!” is my motto now. Some of the results may not be pretty, but I hurdled over some fears and accomplished somethings, on my own. That’s made me very happy.
    I am so glad you decided to just record that drawing you did the other week. It was wonderful to watch and special treat to see your work come to life. Keep it up! :-)

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    • http://tjlubrano.blogspot.com/ TJ Lubrano

      Ah thank you!! I noticed this whole need of control is mostly aimed at my work. I don’t want to make mistakes and when I was writing this article I remembered how it was when I worked for other companies. I usually came with some sort of system for myself to control my workload or to make my work a lot easier. But it’s very easy to get stuck and be blind towards other ways of doing things haha.

      In the end you can make a change in how you think and act huh? So…I’ll be hurdling over fear as well!! *high fives* :)

      If the footage turned out okay today, I’ll have new videos up later this week and next week!

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  • http://castlehearttimes.blogspot.com Dani Heart

    I so understand what you are saying here TJ. Great post. We do have to enjoy the moment and realize that some things are beyond our control and learn to deal. Lovely as always. :)

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    • http://tjlubrano.blogspot.com/ TJ Lubrano

      “enjoy the moment” -- so true. Like Katy said “life’s not perfect”…and because it isn’t the need for control should be put aside. I’m working on it!

      Big thanks, as always!! :)

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  • http://www.garrycrystal.blogspot.com/ Garry Crystal

    I definitely agree with Wayne’s little quote there and try to stick to that but it’s hard sometimes.

    I can’t imagine you getting angry or even annoyed but now i’m thinking of you doing one of your videos and not getting something perfect on it and going into a mega rampage.

    You do need some control though otherwise things will just get out of hand, for example, taking on more work than you can handle out of fear there won’t be more work in the future, need to get the balance right.

    An example of a rampage video….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtNRrBTkilU

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    • http://tjlubrano.blogspot.com/ TJ Lubrano

      Wayne had a bunch of cool quotes! And yes, it’s definitely hard at times, especially with taking on projects/commissions. I do try not to get angry or annoyed, but can’t always avoid this haha.

      Poor food! Look what he did!! Stoopid olive thingy that he tried to put on top! Haha, it was too funny though.

      Merci Brows!

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  • http://celticmusicfan.com/ Baxter Labatos

    You express exactly what I feel these days. It is an odd combination. Part of me wants to jump on all available projects. Then there is that part where I just want to slack off and have fun. But then I also understand the value of being able to finish something I started.

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    • http://tjlubrano.blogspot.com/ TJ Lubrano

      Ahh it’s an odd combination indeed. Like you’re being pulled into different directions and feelings. Finding a balance is not always that easy, but you can achieve it for a little while. Change is the only constant right? :)

      Thanks so much!

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  • http://sipsofjenandtonic.com Jen and Tonic

    I seriously cannot imagine you getting annoyed. I think it’d be something like, “Oh, fiddlesticks!” Mine is more like, “*@**^@%$@^@%$@#!!!!!!!!!!”

    I think it’s so hard to just go with the flow. I give people who can do that so much credit. I’ve been better in recent years, but it’s a skill that takes practice!

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    • http://tjlubrano.blogspot.com/ TJ Lubrano

      Hahaha man! I think I will scare you when I see you for real. Next to the occasional “oh shoot!”, I do say shit and WTF etc. It depends on my annoyance level hehe. I should have done this #$*(&)(*^%&*.

      It’s definitely difficult and there are days I completely suck at it as other thoughts take up lots of space and make me all gloomy and you know, not happy. Then whenever I read about people who are completely care-free and able to go with the flow, I envy that. But you’re right, its a skill indeed and you just have to be patient and eventually it will go easier! Gotta have faith :)

      *resist the urge to burst out in singing*

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